19 May Fight or Flight: Part 2 – Darwin to Bali
Some poor soles aren’t meant to be air-bound, as you’ll find out within this short story. Bali is a picturesque part of the world, a tropical division of the Indonesian isles that attracts paradise-seekers from all corners of the globe. Be warned: morons, they fly here too.
I had upgraded my seat for extra legroom meaning I was moved closer to the front of the plane in row two. Sat behind me were two enthusiastic Australian teenagers that boarded with such commission and racket they could be heard from the check-in desk. Even their outfits were loud – fluorescent low-cut vests, headbands upon classic rock haircuts influenced heavily by the movie characters, Bill and Ted. And guess what? Our dear friends were kicking off their Excellent Adventure in row three. Behind yours truly.
I’ve been in this ghastly scenario before, which is why I carry earphones and charge up a music playing device in preparation. However, even with sound protection I could sense that the behaviour of Bill and Ted was getting up the noses of other passengers. Several times I saw people stand up and usher stern words in their direction. Curiosity got the better of me and I listened in for a bit. The buffoons were “singing” at the top of their voices and taking turns in making animal sounds. Or maybe it was just their accent – I couldn’t tell.
It was time for the head steward to step to demand that Bill and Ted hand over their passports there and then, consequently draining the excitement from their faces. The boneheads played this confiscation off as an achievement, something to brag about to their equally poorly-educated pals back home. They were wrong. As the plane pulled in at the runway a team of Balinese security boarded the aircraft and marched the pair off with haste. Cuffed and prodded. Jaws dropped.
Before leaving the aircraft, the boys attempted to apologise in a desperate bid to move back through time and rewrite recent events (only the real Bill and Ted can do that, you morons!), met by a sea of smug grins from rows 1-30. Too little, too late. I did think about instigating a sarcastic applause like they do in the movies seeing as this story has a Hollywood theme to it, but common sense put a stop to that.
I never saw Bill and Ted again. But I had a lovely time in Bali.